If you didn't get an iPhone ...
As shocking as it seems to me, there are some of you out there who didn't rush out on July 11 to get an iPhone 3G. Even more shocking: it's been four days since the iPhone 3G was released and you still don't have one.
For some, it's a financial issue, which is perfectly understandable. Although cell phone ownership is almost universal in Canada, the iPhone is perceived as expensive compared to ordinary cell phones and even other smart phones.
However, the iPhone 3G is reasonably affordable at $199. Also, a very good voice plan combined with Rogers' best data packages (6GB, visual voice mail, etc.) rounds off at $85 a month, all taxes and fees included. Something to think about if you're already in the $55 to $65 range for voice/text only.
I address the rest of this post to the self-congratulatory purists out there, who can afford an iPhone 3G but refuse to defile themselves with the alleged hype and greed associated with the device. You tell yourselves you're above such bald and blatant consumerism.
Maybe. But maybe not. ZDNet tech columnist, Jason Perlow, thinks you might actually be grieving a terrible loss.
In his latest blog post, Jason refers to Swiss psychiatrist Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who in the 1970's became known for describing the five stages of grief. Jason, who is also iPhone-less, shares his personal journey through these stages:
1. Denial
The initial response was, “Why do I need one of these things if there are so many other good choices out there?” What the flipping hell do I need to spend $400.00 on a goddamned cell phone for? Who the @#$% needs one?
2. Anger
The iPhone of course became extremely popular, and this incensed the hell out of me. So I looked for various outlets to become receptacles for my rage. First I wanted to do bodily harm to the iPhone. Then, when that didn’t fill the void in my soul, I resorted to guilting others with their purchase and their obsession with the device.
3. Bargaining
Me: Hello, good sir. do you have any iPhone 3G’s left?
Storeperson: No, we ran out of them early this morning when all the freakazoids who camped out overnight took them all. You got here too late, dumbass.
Me: But surely, you’re gonna get another shipment of them soon?
Storeperson: Maybe. Possibly tomorrow.
Me: So I can pay $200.00 now and you’ll call me when it comes in?
Storeperson: Not on your life, fat boy.
4. Depression:
Me: Goddammit, the bastards bought all the iPhones. Why am I the only self-respecting geek without one now? I want to kill myself.
5. Acceptance:
Rachel: I really don’t need to buy one of these on the first day, sweetie. Can we go home now?
Me: Sure honey. Really, what the hell was I thinking? Only a complete dweeb with no life whatsoever would actually go out, skip work, and buy one on the first day.
Rachel: And frankly, I can just live with a regular iPod or some generic MP3 player and carry a regular cell phone. It’s not that important.
Me: So can we get an iPhone 3G next week?
Rachel: Okay.
My thanks to Jason for showing us the path to healing.
p.s.: I think Kübler-Ross would have bought an iPhone.
posted by The Rock 'n' Roll Preacher at
7/15/2008 07:58:00 PM
2 Comments:
There are alternatives to being torn apart by the urge to get that Iphone . Starbucks and Iphones seem so natural together.
In fact they would seem preferrable to ..... but on the other hand
is there any alternative to
$ 90./ Month Iphone
$ 150/ Month Starbucks
= $2880/ year
Invested @ 7% for a young fellow like you this would mean $615.195 when you are in your early eighties. You could then withdraw this ( $300.000 adjusted for inflation@ 3%)...... $180-250,000 depending on taxes and give it to the first person you see walking down the street.
Now if every Winnipeger did this then every Winnipeger would get a stranger giving them $200,000 for no apparent reason.I wonder how this woudl impact them?
Having no phone or Starbuck's bill to pay each recipient would be able to give this money to their local church. Even the modest 50 person church would get a windfall
50x 200000 = $10,000,000 (Ten Million dollars) offering and their local pastor could abandon the tithe for several weeks. As a tax deduction on their income tax this gift tax refund would fund their coffee and fellowship with their neighbor at McDonalds for the rest of their lives.
Neil Postman in the 1980's suggested that schools should ban electronics so that children could see talk and interact with real teachers, real secretaries and real students. He reasoned that outside of school there were electronics galore and school provided an opportunity to live and teach the humanities for perhaps the only time in their lives.
Pain can lead to gain. Going through the stages of death and dying of the Iphone urge lead to Stage 5 of KR's scheme..... a peaceful life-long acquiescence to the non digital person to person contact. Enslaved Digital Immigrants and Citizens could be freed Digital Deportees .
Unplug those guitars and Iphones and save your local church.
Respectfully
E=Mc**2
P.S. McLuhan was right ... invention is the mother of necessity.
Having lost $12000 in the stock market since December 2007, it's hard not to be enticed by the impressive investment strategy Einstein suggests! 7.00%!?!? Wow!
(And boy, that $12000 could have bought a lot of guitars.)
Nevertheless, I will continue to do my duty by investing in technology products. I have an ulterior motive: if I keep buying Apple gadgets, I'm hoping Steve Jobs will create a device that ensures the only colonoscopy I ever receive is "virtual". It could be the killer iPhone app!
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